I am not crazy!

Remember last week when I was feeling like a terrible mother?

Well, it was plaguing me so much that I had to go see my counselor. I hadn't been in a year, so it was probably time for a check up anyway. Yes, I said check up. Don't all normal people see a counselor once a year?

Anyway, my counselor listened to me for almost an hour. When I was done talking (when you don't go for a year there is a lot to catch up on!), she said I am not crazy. Whew! That was a relief.

What she did say is that I am run down and worn out. That I never was good about taking breaks when Caleb was a baby, and now with two children I have a bad habit of not taking breaks. She said it is catching up to me.

How do you take a break with a nursing infant? I challenged.

Apparently, I am to leave the kiddos with Christian, a friend, someone for at least an hour, two is better. Once a week. Does anyone else do this?

I came home and told Christian, and because I have a wonderful husband, he said it makes sense. He also said he will help me to get away for an hour once a week, to go on a walk, meet with a friend, whatever. In fact, I already have some alone time scheduled for this week.

I remember my counselor wanting me to do this with Caleb too, but it just seemed impossible, wrong even, and I had no desire to be without him. However, now with two children, it sounds like a good idea. Especially since I am finding myself being angry a lot. Angry with Christian, angry with God, and in the last year, angry with Caleb. You would think that any of those would be cause enough to send me to figure things out, but it was the angry with Caleb part that made me go see my counselor. I thought she was going to tell me that I had some deep seeded emotional issue I had to work out. But no, she just wants me to take a break 1-2 hours a week.

I think I can do it. And... is this possible? I haven't been as angry since I went yesterday. In fact, I didn't feel angry at all today. Tired yes, sick yes, but no anger. Woohoo!